A big thing going through my mind this week is that I want to put my focus on two things: loving God and fearing Him. If I love and fear God and have intimacy and reverence for Him, it will lead to desire for God, which will lead to devotion to Him with the result of godliness.
This week and last week, I’ve had some reoccurring thoughts as I listen to lectures, of what I’m going to do after DTS and why. Just before arriving here, I thought I would be coming back to take photography courses and go into missions and do something with missions photography. I wanted to do that mainly because I was sick of lukewarm Christianity and I desired to really live out my faith. I didn’t see much of a point to college, and I thought that getting a job in missions would be where I could bring the most impact to the world. It was because I wanted to prove that I’d be willing to give up everything to follow. Many careers seemed to be so useless to me. But I’ve been learning that God sanctifies the common; that everything matters – not just stuff done on the mission field, but ordinary everyday stuff, something as simple as cleaning. I’ve been seeking God for direction in my next steps, and through some of the things said in lecture the past few weeks, I feel like God is showing me steps to take after DTS. I never thought or expected that I would get answers this fast. Nothing is for sure and I’m still going to be open to His guidance, but I feel like right now God is calling me back to college to study psychology and art. He may have something completely different in mind for me, so I’ll be open and willing to change plans and be flexible, but now I have this new inspiration to go back to university and eventually do art therapy. Our speaker this week mentioned that God only asks for ten percent. Only ten percent are to go into full-time missions, while the other ninety percent are to go into business, government, media, art, etc. I feel that with the abilities and talents God gave me, I can do the most for Him through counseling with art. America needs just as much help as any other nation. Two things that struck me are: people who need counseling are broken and lost and need truth to set them free from lies, and the modern art world is one of the darkest places and is in need of a revelation of beauty, meaning, and truth. I feel like I could do so much in these areas for the Kingdom. I think the art world needs more Christ followers. Modern art has lost meaning. All the stuff in modern galleries carries messages from a corrupt worldview. I see only darkness and hopelessness in most of it. When people see my art I want them to see a piece of God’s beauty reflected. I want them to feel hope and inspiration. I think more Christians should be in counseling positions. There is so much depression, eating disorders, and broken lives in the world. Someone needs to bring truth to these people and expose the lies. I want to see these people set free by the truth. America is desperately in need of truth and a wakeup call. Our culture is so polluted with corrupt worldviews, lies, and messed up priorities. I believe that the great commission to go into all nations to spread the Gospel is vital, but perhaps God is calling me to my own nation, and I can use the money I make to support missionaries and sponsor more children. I think God has been speaking to me that I can best communicate His Kingdom to the broken lives of those in America who are seeking counseling. And I can use the passion He gave me for art as a tool. Through my love and words of encouragement, I want them to see Jesus. My Lord is my Wonderful Counselor and He speaks to me and I believe He will use me to speak into the lives of the hurting. I want them to see my joy and ask me how I have overcome struggles. I believe that if I prove that God is the all in all in my life the world will turn upside down. I don’t think any therapy methods can fully heal a person to the core, they can help, but only Jesus Christ can cleanse hearts and set free. I can’t heal, but I know the Healer, and as I yield my life to the Healer, He heals. I just want to do everything through His strength, not in my own ability, love, compassion, or wisdom. Doing things in my own love, my own compassion, my own wisdom is futile. It is nothing. It will make no difference in this world. It is filthy to God. I need to give God my life and let Him do things through me. I’m going to keep listening for God’s calling for my life and see if outreach changes anything, but for now I am to gaze at my Shepherd because the more I love Him, the more my desires align with His, and the more I will know His will and calling for me. Pray that I will remain open to God’s calling upon my life, that I will follow Him no matter where He calls me, and that I will have patience and trust Him as I wait for more answers.
Today we met with our outreach groups to pray over our country. I feel like God told me I am going to be bringing two major things to Cambodia: beauty and joy. And it will leave them truth and peace. He gave me a passion for art for a reason, so I can bring beauty with me, and I guess I was named Joy for a reason. We got some more information on where we’ll be going in Cambodia and what we’ll be doing. We’re going to Siem Reap to visit orphanages and kids in the community and safe houses for girls. We will be teaching them English and having youth Bible studies. We’ll also travel to Kampong Cham to visit Muslim villages. And we’ll also go to the capital city, Phnom Penh, to do slum ministry, visit shelters of victims of sex-trafficking, and work with youth.
Seek the Lord and His wisdom as you make your choices. Choose what will help you to know Him. The more you do this, the more you will taste Him, see that He is good, love Him, and desire to make more choices that will bring you closer to Him!
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