These past couple weeks have seemed to be getting harder, just because I’m running out of energy, I’ve been sick, I’m losing motivation because I’m tired, I haven’t had many revelations, the thrill of being in Hawaii is starting to wear off, I’m getting homesick as holidays are approaching, and I've been confused about some theological issues. I realized tonight that I need to put a stop to these feelings and spend every minute of my down time resting in God because I desperately need His supernatural strength and His spirit to consume me. It’s not ok to give into self pity and let these things get me down. I need to stop striving and trying to do things in my own strength. Outreach is going to be so much tougher than anything I’ve ever experienced, and I need to be ready and on my guard even before getting there. I need to keep some things in mind when I journey to Cambodia… “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13). Paul learned a valuable secret. Contentment. No matter what was going on around him. He was able to do everything through the strength of God. I need to be ready at all times to share the gospel, not just when I feel like it. I need to be an open vessel at all times for God to be able to use me for His glory. And I cannot do it. It’s impossible. I need to rely on God for strength, for guidance, for words, for everything. Because I can do nothing. But through Christ, I can do everything He calls me to do. Being tired or not feeling like doing something is not an option. God can work through that because He gives strength to the weary and weakness is made perfect in His strength. I’m glad I get tired and can’t do things by myself because that’s why I need Jesus. I realize that I am insufficient, but it’s God that makes me sufficient and can use me to do big things because He gets the glory when He uses the weak and makes them strong. “Satan’s goal is to get Christians discouraged and to convince us to lay down our swords and stop trying. But we must remember that we are in a very real battle and often, the victory that we have been seeking is nearer than we think.” – Eric Ludy. This past week I’ve been staring at a big juicy steak of discouragement. It’s been set before me, by the enemy, with a little note that says come on, dig in, give way to a little self pity now, you deserve it. Discouragement is a nasty foe and it is relentless to gain its end. It wants to empty us of our perseverance, our tenacity, our fight, and get us to lay down our swords and just give up. If I’ve learned anything in the battle for truth, it is to keep fighting, keep pressing, don’t grow weary in well doing, for the victory is sure and it is more often than not nearer than you think. God anointed David to be King of Israel, but it sure didn’t seem like it for many years. David was still stuck tending sheep as Saul was ruling on the throne. Over the next ten or so years David was forced to live in caves, to run for his life, and Saul tried to murder him 21 times. Time and again the big juicy steak of discouragement was set before David with a note that read just give up, you’re doomed! Ten years of this, with no sign of things turning in the direction of God’s promise. Then just days before the breakthrough came for David, he faced his darkest hour. While he was away at battle with his mighty men, his hometown was pillaged and burned. All the women and children, his wives, his possessions, were taken away. David’s men were despairing. They had run for years, slept on rocks, and hoped that one day God’s promise would come to pass. It would seem that the opposite had happened – they lost everything. Many times, the darkest moment arrives right before the sun breaks through. David was just days away from getting the long awaited throne. Often, we must pass through the dark night of the soul in order to see the bright light of God’s faithfulness. In times of trial, will I be able to fall flat on my face in worship and praise despite the circumstances around me? Will I be able to pass up the juicy steak of discouragement? Job was asked after He lost literally everything, “Are you sill holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die.” Will I be able to stand and say I will yet praise Him? Despair is never the answer. God will prove faithful because when He promises something, He cannot lie. “When obedience is in the ascendant, when we deliberately choose to obey Him, He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist you with all His almighty power.” – Oswald Chambers. God is longing to give me everything I need to live the victorious Christian life. He has everything at His disposal. He has love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, supernatural strength, etc. He is ready to fill me up and keep filling me as I give out. I just have to ask, receive, rest in Him, cling to His promises, and allow Him to work in and through me; surrendering myself and letting Him give me what I need to do the work He has called me to. Please pray for me to have fierce tenacity in the coming months.
God my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs you now
God be near, calm my fear
and take my doubt
I will lift my eyes
to the Maker, of the mountains I can't climb
to the Calmer, of the oceans raging wild
to the Healer, of the hurt I hold inside
I Will Lift My Eyes – Bebo Norman
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to
If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens
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